Broke Back Mimzy

Tomorrow will be three weeks since my back surgery.  While I cannot believe how quickly those three weeks have swiftly passed by, I also feel like it is taking forever until I am completely healed.  I really hadn't had too much pain after the surgery.  It hurt getting in and out of bed, laying on my back (not possible for two weeks), and no matter how or where I sat, I couldn't get comfortable.  Silly me, I thought my two weeks of sick leave would be "relaxing" - just the time off I had been hoping for and needed.  It never occurred to me that I would be uncomfortable to sit, which meant I was too uncomfortable to read, color, crochet, or even write.

In typical "Schuyler" fashion (Schuyler is my maiden name and we are notorious for trying to do too much too quickly), I did too much too quickly.  I drove Emma to all of her appointments and lessons, squatted dozens of times each day, and a number of other similar tasks I shouldn't have been doing.  After walking around the gym yesterday, while Emma swam a few laps, I came home, sat one the couch, and immediately felt exhausted and sore.  Laying down on the couch, I closed my eyes and actually listened to what my body was saying.  It was hurting and I was ignoring it (Schuyler'd it again, as DH would say).  My back is still swollen where the 3-4 inch incision is healing, I am sore, I have a very slight bit of pain coming back.

As I laid on the couch, all four of my animals surrounded me; the three 4 paws on the couch with me and my tri-paw on the floor.  Ok, the two cats were actually laying ON me, but cats do whatever they want, right?  I truly believe that animals know when part of their pack is hurting, so I must really have been hurting.  Although I had not been using the prescription pain meds often since the surgery, I took one Percocet and one Valium.  Then, I proceeded to get feel loopy, tired, better, and a little sad.

When I woke up this morning, my body felt a little better, but my mood was not.  It is difficult to slow down.  It is difficult to refrain from bending over to pick up something DH or DD dropped and left on the floor.  It is difficult looking at the two full laundry baskets of clothes, wanting desperately to take them upstairs but knowing that I cannot.  It is difficult intentionally walking slowly, especially when DH used to refer to me as General Patton whenever we walked anywhere.  All of this has made me sad.  Weepy sad.  Like, I have been crying while looking at old pictures, tv commercials, and I was a sloppy sobby mess when I watched Jane Austen's Emma tonight.  Seriously?  I have read that book and watched multiple versions of the movie dozens of times....and I have never cried.

Today, a very sweet and extremely intelligent friend told me that I need to lower my expectations, slow down, and let my body heal.  She's been through the same surgery, so she knows first hand.  I know that soon enough, I will be driving back to the office every day, complaining about having to go there, but at least I will be able to (hopefully) walk quickly from the parking lot to my desk.  In the meantime, I will learn how to relax enough to watch movies, remember to stand up and walk around every 60 minutes, and I will try-try-TRY to convince myself that it really is OK to do absolutely nothing for a couple more weeks. 

Happy New Year 2016

As far as I'm concerned, 2016 is off to a fantastic start. My brother, sister-in-law, and nephews came up for the day and celebrated the new year with us. I can't express just how thankful we were to have their company today, but when you don't live near family, visits like this are extra special, especially when our busy lives make visits few and far between.  I wish we were able to get pictures, but we were so focused on enjoying each other's company, I don't think any of us thought about it.  

Derek has sent me a few pictures of his trip to Arizona with the WVU marching band. It looks like he's having a fantastic time, and he even went on a trail ride!  One of the texts I got from him said "I kept my heels down!" I guess he remembers quite a few things from those riding lessons all those years ago.

This year, I do not plan on making resolutions, just goals and aspirations. As of this moment, my primary goal is to focus on my health and fitness. I'm fat (it's ok to say the "f" word), but worse than that is how out of shape I've become. I want to fix that. I want to wake up feeling energized instead of dreading the day ahead of me. Losing weight is NOT my goal, but I won't object to losing some poundage as I work on my fitness, strength, and flexibility. 

This will be the year of the horse for me. I'm so excited at the prospect of riding again that I can hardly stand the waiting process. I'm all set to begin leasing a very sweet older guy on February first. It's Anton, the horse who Emma rides every week. I probably won't start riding for a while yet, but just being able to go brush him whenever I want is a fabulous "something" to look forward to. 

I am going to write this year. I don't care if it's one of those "daily writing prompts" sites, I just need to write.  Why? I need to write because I like to write. Actually, I should probably sign up for a creative writing class at Shepherd. 

Believe it or not, we also plan to expand our garden again. Being able to walk into our back yard and pick whatever vegetables we want for dinner is such a delight! Hopefully the garden does better this year…🙏

I hope this year brings peace to our home and our lives.  We already have the love, ❤️ now we need to focus on putting ourselves first and jobs LAST.  I am so very grateful for both the tangibles and intangibles in my life. I have a job that pays the bills and allows me to travel, I have a best friend who loves me enough to stop in and check on me after surgery, I have a husband who is the love of my life and makes me laugh every day (even though our interests are WAY different), my children have beautiful, kind, and loving hearts, and I am appreciative beyond words for the love we share.  

Take time to enjoy the company of your family and friends. Be kind with your words and give freely of your love. Love is a much more precious gift than anything you could ever find under the Christmas tree or in a store.  

xoxo

The Importance of Girlfriends

I’ve been reminded recently, that I have an amazing group of friends. Some of them don’t know each other and some of them may not like each other, but all of them have one thing in common - strength.  Every single one of these women is an amazingly strong soul. Each of them have courage and traits that I admire, (some traits I wish I had!), and I couldn’t imagine getting through life without them. There may be weeks that pass before I have a chance to talk with some of them, or months before I actually get to see them, but I always know they are there.

Several years ago, I never understood the importance of having girl friends. I was so busy running the kids around, and between baseball, soccer, dance, swim, horseback riding, and work, I thought I didn’t have time for “friends”. In fact, due to my own insecurities, I probably cut short a few friendships before they even had a chance to grow.  As I've matured I've learned that we women NEED girlfriends. They help us get through the best and worst of everything; friends are there patting our back or holding our hand when we need support, lifting our spirits when we are down, singing songs from the 80's with each other as loud as we can (just because that makes us happy).  There are also friends who are brave enough to tell us the ugly truths we don’t want to hear, but need to.

I do need to make more of an effort to see these women; a glass of wine here, a yoga class there, a hike on the C&O Canal Towpath, shopping, lunch. Work and after-school activities still gets in the way, more often than they should, but it’s always a blessing to know that my friends are there. I wish I were better at being a friend.  I tend to get caught up in my own little ADHD world, with a bazillion things going on in my mind.  I hope all of my friends know how much I appreciate them and that I will always be by their side, too.

I love my husband more than anything, and he is my best friend, but I need my girlfriends. My friends are like my family, except I got to pick them... or, you could say that I was lucky enough to be picked by them. I hope my daughter learns the importance of a good circle of girlfriends.