My Life as Described by a Purse

We all have that one drawer, filled to capacity with all of the odds and ends you cannot find a home for in the kitchen.  I actually have a few of those catch-all drawers in various rooms of my house, and every time I open one and root through it looking for something, I vow that I will come back and clean it out; but alas, that never happens.

The "coat" closet in the front of our home is also a giant catch-all drawer of sorts.  It has raincoats and winter jackets, scarves, hats, gloves, shoes, book bags, string bags, 15 reusable grocery bags (so I have a little thing for shopping bags), swim caps, goggles, girl scout patches, yoga mat, old curtains, dog leashes, and so on and so on.  After logging off from work today, I decided this would be the perfect opportunity to purge that closet.  Due to the insane amount of snowfall this past weekend, we were still stranded in the house, so I had nowhere to go and nothing else to do.  Perfect!

 

After pulling everything except the jackets and coats out of the closet, I was immediately overwhelmed.  Honestly, I wanted to shove it all back into the closet, shut the door and walk away, but I was determined to finish at least one project during the aftermath of the Blizzard of 2016. I threw away old purses, lots of papers and receipts, found missing earings, filled a bag with scarves and hats to donate, and found a home for everything.  I stood in front of the closet, hands on my hips, feeling outrageously successful, until I saw something hanging in the back of the closet, hidden from sight by a jacket.  I reached in, grabbing the leather strap, curiously pulling it out of the closet, finding that it belonged one of my favorite old purses.

I do not own very many purses.  When I buy one, I tend to use it until it falls apart.  This purse is one that I would use forever if I could.  There is nothing special about it and, truth be told, it's very plain.  I opened it to discover that it was still full of "stuff".  Not just stuff, but pieces of my life that were sort of preserved in this purse.  I slowly began to empty the contents onto the table and ended up sitting down to go through it all.

There were plenty of items that I threw away, like old chap-sticks, Splenda packets, a couple of pieces of Dentyne gum, expired allergy medicine, old cough drops, and a migraine pill (SCORE!!); however, the rest was like finding a treasure trove of memories.  Each time my husband heard me say "Oh wow" or "Look at this", he would ask if I found gold doubloons.

There were coins from a trip to Panama for work and a handmade key chain I purchased from a local market while there.  Although I did not get much of an opportunity to site see in that beautiful country, I was able to catch a ride to the Panama Canal and watch a ship go through. Receipts from a Bonefish Grill restaurant in Independence, Ohio, and one from a sushi restaurant in San Francisco, both work sponsored travel and both were trips spent with a co-worker whose company I truly enjoyed.

 

There were three tickets from a West Virginia University (WVU) Football game my husband and our daughter attended, as well as a WVU Parents Club pin.  We're not really football fans, but our son was in the WVU Marching Band and it was the only way we ever got to see him perform at college.  Also found in this sweet time capsule were USA Swimming Disqualification Forms.  I was a Swim Official for our summer swim team as well as for the high school swim team.   I hurt my back this year and was unable to be an official, so it was sweet to have that memory.  I'm still not sure why I had those forms in my purse, but I was glad to see them.

 

There were ID cards for the American Red Cross (A Positive) and Be The Match bone marrow donor.  As much as I'd love to be a regular blood donor, I cannot since my iron is usually too low.  I'd love to be able to help someone with the Be The Match program, but I do not believe that will ever happen.  I think of those cards as good visual reminders to always try to help people.  Always.  In little ways, big ways, unseen ways. I've kind of lost sight of that lately, so what a better way for the universe to throw it back in my face!

Last, there was a small flier for Master Gardener training. I did not go, probably because I was over-committed and did not have time.  Gardening is something that my husband loves to do, and he is good at it.  I also enjoy working in the garden, but I'm not nearly as gifted in the green thumb category as he is. I wanted to take the class so I could help him more than I do in our large garden. I have come to realize that working in the garden is my husband's Zen place.  It's where he loves to spend his afternoons and weekends when the weather is warm enough.  I don't need to take a gardening class; he appreciates the little ways I do help in the garden.

I am so thankful I cleaned out that catch-all closet today.  That plain purse is quite an accurate representation of my life over the past few years, and it has allowed me to reflect on my life in a very positive way.  I am humbled and grateful for what I have, which is worth so much more than anything gold doubloons could buy.

Broke Back Mimzy

Tomorrow will be three weeks since my back surgery.  While I cannot believe how quickly those three weeks have swiftly passed by, I also feel like it is taking forever until I am completely healed.  I really hadn't had too much pain after the surgery.  It hurt getting in and out of bed, laying on my back (not possible for two weeks), and no matter how or where I sat, I couldn't get comfortable.  Silly me, I thought my two weeks of sick leave would be "relaxing" - just the time off I had been hoping for and needed.  It never occurred to me that I would be uncomfortable to sit, which meant I was too uncomfortable to read, color, crochet, or even write.

In typical "Schuyler" fashion (Schuyler is my maiden name and we are notorious for trying to do too much too quickly), I did too much too quickly.  I drove Emma to all of her appointments and lessons, squatted dozens of times each day, and a number of other similar tasks I shouldn't have been doing.  After walking around the gym yesterday, while Emma swam a few laps, I came home, sat one the couch, and immediately felt exhausted and sore.  Laying down on the couch, I closed my eyes and actually listened to what my body was saying.  It was hurting and I was ignoring it (Schuyler'd it again, as DH would say).  My back is still swollen where the 3-4 inch incision is healing, I am sore, I have a very slight bit of pain coming back.

As I laid on the couch, all four of my animals surrounded me; the three 4 paws on the couch with me and my tri-paw on the floor.  Ok, the two cats were actually laying ON me, but cats do whatever they want, right?  I truly believe that animals know when part of their pack is hurting, so I must really have been hurting.  Although I had not been using the prescription pain meds often since the surgery, I took one Percocet and one Valium.  Then, I proceeded to get feel loopy, tired, better, and a little sad.

When I woke up this morning, my body felt a little better, but my mood was not.  It is difficult to slow down.  It is difficult to refrain from bending over to pick up something DH or DD dropped and left on the floor.  It is difficult looking at the two full laundry baskets of clothes, wanting desperately to take them upstairs but knowing that I cannot.  It is difficult intentionally walking slowly, especially when DH used to refer to me as General Patton whenever we walked anywhere.  All of this has made me sad.  Weepy sad.  Like, I have been crying while looking at old pictures, tv commercials, and I was a sloppy sobby mess when I watched Jane Austen's Emma tonight.  Seriously?  I have read that book and watched multiple versions of the movie dozens of times....and I have never cried.

Today, a very sweet and extremely intelligent friend told me that I need to lower my expectations, slow down, and let my body heal.  She's been through the same surgery, so she knows first hand.  I know that soon enough, I will be driving back to the office every day, complaining about having to go there, but at least I will be able to (hopefully) walk quickly from the parking lot to my desk.  In the meantime, I will learn how to relax enough to watch movies, remember to stand up and walk around every 60 minutes, and I will try-try-TRY to convince myself that it really is OK to do absolutely nothing for a couple more weeks. 

Happy New Year 2016

As far as I'm concerned, 2016 is off to a fantastic start. My brother, sister-in-law, and nephews came up for the day and celebrated the new year with us. I can't express just how thankful we were to have their company today, but when you don't live near family, visits like this are extra special, especially when our busy lives make visits few and far between.  I wish we were able to get pictures, but we were so focused on enjoying each other's company, I don't think any of us thought about it.  

Derek has sent me a few pictures of his trip to Arizona with the WVU marching band. It looks like he's having a fantastic time, and he even went on a trail ride!  One of the texts I got from him said "I kept my heels down!" I guess he remembers quite a few things from those riding lessons all those years ago.

This year, I do not plan on making resolutions, just goals and aspirations. As of this moment, my primary goal is to focus on my health and fitness. I'm fat (it's ok to say the "f" word), but worse than that is how out of shape I've become. I want to fix that. I want to wake up feeling energized instead of dreading the day ahead of me. Losing weight is NOT my goal, but I won't object to losing some poundage as I work on my fitness, strength, and flexibility. 

This will be the year of the horse for me. I'm so excited at the prospect of riding again that I can hardly stand the waiting process. I'm all set to begin leasing a very sweet older guy on February first. It's Anton, the horse who Emma rides every week. I probably won't start riding for a while yet, but just being able to go brush him whenever I want is a fabulous "something" to look forward to. 

I am going to write this year. I don't care if it's one of those "daily writing prompts" sites, I just need to write.  Why? I need to write because I like to write. Actually, I should probably sign up for a creative writing class at Shepherd. 

Believe it or not, we also plan to expand our garden again. Being able to walk into our back yard and pick whatever vegetables we want for dinner is such a delight! Hopefully the garden does better this year…🙏

I hope this year brings peace to our home and our lives.  We already have the love, ❤️ now we need to focus on putting ourselves first and jobs LAST.  I am so very grateful for both the tangibles and intangibles in my life. I have a job that pays the bills and allows me to travel, I have a best friend who loves me enough to stop in and check on me after surgery, I have a husband who is the love of my life and makes me laugh every day (even though our interests are WAY different), my children have beautiful, kind, and loving hearts, and I am appreciative beyond words for the love we share.  

Take time to enjoy the company of your family and friends. Be kind with your words and give freely of your love. Love is a much more precious gift than anything you could ever find under the Christmas tree or in a store.  

xoxo